Fear and anxiety are often used interchangeably, but they are not the same.  Fear is in reaction to a danger or perceived danger.  Anxiety is the suppression of emotions.  Rather than feeling our emotions, we stuff them and the anxiety is felt. Hmmm...makes me wonder what I am stuffing... 

This morning my husband and I had a quick conversation in the kitchen before he left for work and I was reminded of someone who invested a great deal into me.  When she left, I felt a gaping hole.  I had gone from growing to stagnant.  I wonder if I have made that same impact on another without ever really knowing it...hummm...

On Thursday I am to have a conversation where I must be brutally honest, honest to the point of vulnerability.  Needless to say, I am not looking forward to it.  But I wonder, if I were to be more vulnerable in everyday life, how many others would this simply act provide others the opportunity to do the same.  We so often live only on the surface where our heart is safe.  What if we intentionally chose to live a little further down?  Would relationships be more authentic?  Would wounds be tended to?  Would there be less gossip and more compassion?  Being vulnerable takes courage.  May you muster a bit more courage today.   

Doing tasks on purpose and with a grateful heart.  As I type, I reflect on what I do on purpose.  Unfortunately, the list is too short.  I do many things out of habit but not necessarily on purpose.  Doing them single-mindedly, focused on doing just that one thing at a time. Many years ago I had a mentor that taught me to pray as I did each task.  Thank Him for the dirty dishes and laundry that meant I had a home with children.  Pray as I vacuumed, thanking Him that I had a home to clean.  Thank Him for the 5:30 am alarm, I had a job.  I would love to tell you that I have been consistent with this practice, but I haven't.  I wonder how life would be different if I did more tasks on purpose and with a grateful heart? 

It has been over a year since I last posted.  I have learned much since then.

I am both a victim and survivor of childhood abuse.  I used to stand in the hallways of my elementary building and count.  One, two, three, four...One, two, three, four...One, two, three, four...and the impact becomes a much closer reality.  Depending on what statistics have been posted, one in 4 girls and one in 6 boys will be a victim of sexual abuse before the age of 18.  One, two, three, four...maybe that one...that one was me.

Naming emotional elephants. I encourage you to pause and name your emotional elephants.  Not someone else's, not what you want yours to be, but what it is.  Pause long enough to name your emotional elephants.  Fear, frustration, discouragement, sadness, isolation, pride, arrogance, anger, annoyance, guilt, apathy, disappointment, contempt, embarrassment, shame....

It is only after we name them can we acknowledge them and thus begin to address them.  Emotions in and of themselves are not right or wrong.  It is what we do with them in the space between stimulus and response that matters.  

So often I simply said and still say, "Good job."  Not a bad phrase, better than nothing at all, I suppose.  The problem is, it just isn't very helpful.  And it especially isn't very helpful when someone is trying to acquire a new skill.  

Being in the business of education, be it teaching, training, correcting or rebuking, offering direct feedback is critical to support growth.  Think about it for a moment.  Getting a red checkmark on my already confusing algebra problem simply let me know I did something wrong.  Chalk that one up to another dumb Lisa moment.  Hurry, cover it before someone else sees and laughs at me.  

But what if I knew that red checkmark actually indicated that someone was going to come alongside me.  Someone was going to point out the places or steps that I got correct, hopefully, because I understood, and then guide me through the places I didn't understand or miscalculated.  

Take time this week to check your feedback, both giving and receiving.  If it is offered with grace and illuminates truth, growth will happen.  

Tug of War is a game of teamwork. Marathon is a large group each individually attempting to reach the same goal.  Over the last few weeks, I have had to opportunity to sincerely brag about your teamwork.  Conversations at school meetings, personal conversations out in public, visits with parents who have asked how things are going.  

We, as a group, who are choosing to invest in the lives of children, are pulling together.  Not one aspect of this large system is being overlooked as we care for the children in our community.  Maintenance, tech support, transportation, food service, secretaries, paras, custodial, nurses, AEA support, teachers, administrators, parents, and students.  Not one single entity is left unaffected and in need of team support. 

Thank you for pulling together.  Today is 9/11.  As a nation, we came together.  Today, on 9/11, we are pulling together in a whole new way.  Thank you, for whatever role you have, in supporting not only the educational needs of the children but each other.   

I am not a morning person.  Never have been and suspect that until I am far older, I may never be.  I wonder about you.  What is that sweet spot in your day?  The time when you are not only fully awake but fully alive.

To be fully awake and fully alive.  To live life with intention and purpose.  To remember why you were created and the impact you are making at this moment in time, at this moment in the history of humanity.  

Whatever time your sweet spot is, may you live for today, being fully awake and fully alive.

"Weariness makes cowards of us all."  I don't know who said this or even how long ago I started clinging to this phrase, it has been years and years.

On Friday, we were a weary bunch.  You could see it on our faces, hear it in our voices, and watch it in our walks.  I do hope that you were able to rest not only your body but your mind and soul this past weekend.

Remember to take good care of yourself.  When you are weary, it is hard to be at your best.  It is ok to go to bed a little earlier, eat a little healthier, have one more small snack just because it tastes so good.  It is ok to sit a few more minutes, walk a half step slower, enjoy a hug 15 seconds longer.  Rest to overcome the weariness.  

The cost of investment.  What has it cost you lately to invest in others?  No doubt, it has cost you time. A considerable amount of time.  No educator stops thinking, planning, or reflecting just because the car door closed behind them.  It has cost you money.  At least as elementary and pre-k people, you can't just not make sure they have what they need, you go above and beyond to provide.  It has cost you emotionally.  Tears, fears, excitement...all jumbled together.  It has cost you energy...I know, I saw it on your faces about 2:00 yesterday...someone stated, "Longest day ever...."   

But I ask you, is what you are investing in worth the cost you are paying?  It doesn't matter if we are talking education, home, sports, hobbies, TV, job...they are all costing you something.  

There are days I am woefully complaining because I don't see or feel the immediate ROI (return on investment).  There are days that I forget that I am not investing in the short term but the long term.  There are times when I forget that others selflessly have invested in me, only to be disappointed by their ROI.  

Today, may I, may you, step back and consider the cost of investment.  Investing too much, too little or just right?  Investing for the long term or the short term?  Investing for the sake of others or only for yourself?  May you invest well.    

August 25, 2020 is a date that many of us will always remember.  It is the first time in our history that every child entered the building wearing a mask, greeted by every adult...wearing a mask.  The first time that no parents could walk students to their rooms.  The first time breakfast was served in the hallway and eaten in the classroom.  The first time virtual learners will log on to find virtual assignments.  So many first and we are less than 2 hours into this historic morning.

I wonder if you will make a journey entry today?  Will you keep it recorded for you kids and grandkids to ask you about?  What, for you, made this morning not only historic, but memorable in a very precious way?  

Thank you for being a team that pulled together in amazing ways.  That is what I am going to remember, those are the stories I am going to tell.  

Wow!  2020 will be defined as the year of Problem Solvers.  Unprecedented problems not facing a new business or a one nation, but each and every person across the world.  I suppose there are a few rare pockets of people groups that this doesn't apply to, but I would imagine others are working on their behalf to make sure they stay protected.

I wonder what problems in your little world you are needing to solve today?  How to get kids to new locations.  How to utilize virtual learning, either as the teacher or the student or both.  How to even navigate the learning platform.  How to make daily time adjustments.  How to care for people who may be infected with Covid.  Just simply, how to get your body ready for a new schedule after all these months!

I am thankful that at Hawthorne and Torrence, we are a group of problem solvers.  We dig a little deeper into our knowledge base, we ask Google a few more questions, we seek the help of coworkers, or we just use the WD-40 way...try until we get it figured out.  What ever problems you are facing today, thank you for being a problem solver and digging deeper than you have ever dug before.     

The teachers I have the opportunity to work with are simply amazing.  I don't say this lightly or with exaggeration.  I say it because it is true.  Embedded within the role of instructional coach is the obligation and opportunity to listen and encourage by coming along side of.

This week, I was able to take a "field trip" with a group teachers to three different classrooms in order to problem solve.  During a Schoology training, the IC from the HS did a fantastic job of being intentional with specific groups to meet their individual needs. I got to listen, learn, and kneel beside friends as we navigated this new platform.  Several other times I was able to have more private conversations, being both a sounding board and a comfort.  I had to opportunity to watch "Art on a Cart" practice navigating the floor surfaces and hear variations of "Arrr mate"  coming from our tiny music pirate.  I saw one of our older teachers "dragging" our newbie around the building in search of necessary classroom items...they were laughing the entire way!  I heard notoriously video camera shy teachers anxious to video messages of love and encouragement to our precious little ones.  I saw boxes delivered by husbands, doughnuts delivered by our Thankful Thursday fairy.  I saw patience on the face of those who have been asked the same question a hundred times over.  I was able to locate one group of teachers simply by the enthusiastic noise being emitted from a classroom.  I saw emails shared with "try this, check that..."  And of course, I saw a wide variety of eye wrinkles that expressed what their mask were covering, fear and hope. What I saw this week was a group of ordinary people doing countless extraordinary things. 

I thank each and every one of you for being intentionally focused this week.  Not one bit focused on your own personal comfort, but on pushing your limits so together we can meet the needs of these kiddos we love.  

Queen Esther was a Jewish girl who had been taken captive.  The King had done away with his wife and was on the search for a new one.  Esther was chosen.  Through a series of events, the King had made a decree that her people could be annihilated.  It fell to Esther, who "just happened" to be Queen at that exact time in history, married to the only one with the power to save her people.

The problem was, for the Queen to enter his presence uninvited, she literally risked death.  Her famous quote, "For such a time as this..." comes from this story.  Esther knew, if she lived or if she died, she had been placed her in that position for that reason.  

​I wonder about you.  It was not by accident that you are here, this moment in history, this moment in time, this location.  For such a time as this, you have placed here for a reason.  May you make the most of each and every opportunity before you. "For such a time as this..."

I share this morning not because I want to but because I need to.  Yes, I have an 'official' anxiety disorder, but it is not about me this morning, it is about you, about us.

As I heard laughter in the building yesterday, I could not help but wonder how much of it was actually covering up fear...anxiety.  How many are afraid of getting sick or spreading it to a loved one?  How many are worried for the children?  How many are simply feeling anxious about the new learning environments and meeting the needs of students?  The list could go on and on.  

I encourage you today to reach out today.  Reach out today both to provide support and gain support.  We are need each other more than ever.  

I literally hear the new normal bringing our staff together in new ways.  Never before have we been asked to create online assignments and plan for no contact in person learning. Out of necessity, we must quickly learn and help others apply new learning platforms. We are finding ways to social distance yet still have the students interacting with each other and learning materials.  We are learning to attend meetings sitting 6 feet apart, in masks, and be more productively focused than ever before.  

I know, I could go on and on and on with the "New Normal" around our elementary building.  It is stressful to say the least.  There are hundreds of questions that don't have a pat answer because they have never had to be asked before.  But, if the new normal brings us closer together as educators, coworkers, and friends, then at least some of this new normal will be worth it.  

What a title for today, Ask Powerful Questions by Will Wise.  I haven't even cracked it open yet but it is already prompting me.  Today is the first day back to school since March 2020 and Covid.

The most powerful question right now may simply be, "How are you doing?"  and then waiting for an authentic response.  One way we will support student learning is by supporting each other.

Ask powerful questions and then take time to really listen.

A month has passed since my last post.  Not enough time?  No.  Not enough words or thoughts to share?  No.  Lost my password?  No.  Instead I lost my courage.  I lost my courage because the voices whispered their familiar and I believed them.  They don't necessarily tell full, outright, blatant lies.  That would be too easy to combat.  No, they whisper half truths.  Ones that make you doubt.  "Did God really say...?"  For me, "Did you hear what she said?"   "Are you really that incompetent?"   "That means that you are not needed any longer."  "There is no way you should have took that step.  Go back to where you belong."  On and on the whispers could be quoted.  I am guessing that your list is similar to mine,  both of us prone to fickle human emotions.

So how to combat the voice?  It is to know the truth.  To take each of the accusations brought against me and determine the truth.  To have the courage to hold it, turn it over, examine it and decided what is truth, what is lies.  Courage is not the absence of fear.  Courage is the determination to move forward.    

Our family has had the opportunity to vacation together every year.  As I type, I am looking at pictures from November of 2012.  Blond hair, blue eyes, toothless grins.  I know every mother is bias, but our kids were so darn cute!  

What I am glad I didn't miss was the opportunity to simply be with them.  I think of backyard smores, puppy in the basket bike rides, watching them touch their toes in the ocean, and rounds and rounds of totally cheating mini golf!

​I wonder what you are glad you didn't miss with your family?  Be intentional, make memories.  You'll be glad you did.

I often live in yesterday or tomorrow land.  Regretting, wishing, planning, anticipating, rehashing.  While it is certainly not a bad thing to look back and reflect or to plan forward and anticipate, that is not where life is.  Life is here and now in this moment.  I wonder what is happening in your life right now?

​“There is no growth without change, no change without fear or loss and no loss without pain.”
— Rick Warren

The general phrase of, "I don't like change," has been uttered since Eden.  Today, I echo their words again.  It is not so much the that I don't like change, as it as that I don't like fear, loss or pain.  "What do I have to give up, who am I going to lose, how will I work with that person, what is expected of me, how will routines changes, what is their personality like, will we get along, how will I get it all done, I don't understand what they are asking of me, have they considered..." 

I wanted to write that I admire those who don't fear change, but I am not sure that statement is true on several levels.  Do they really not fear, or just put on a good front?  Do they really not fear because they are so self absorbed it doesn't matter to them?  Have they become so emotionally blunted that they no longer feel?  I am sure there are those that would argue with me, "I don't fear change,"  but I would have to disagree.  What changes I fear and what changes you fear may not be the same, but change does not come without some level of anxiousness.  I wonder what readjustment, changes, you are facing today? 

I know, it is a strong word full of foul connotations.  But to select a more gentle word would not be truthful.  After a conversation yesterday, I felt like an idiot.  I am not going to elaborate, no need to have you agree with my feelings....

What I did and do need to continually separate out is difference between what I feel and the truth of what is.  My feelings whisper things like, "Not good enough," "Missed that one, didn't ya," "Ha, told you you should have kept your mouth shut!" On and on this list could go.  You and I might even be able to have a contest as to who has the longer one.  But just because these are whispered to me by my emotions, does not make them truthful.  

The truth is I am fearfully and wonderfully made, loved by choice, stronger than I know, and more precious to Him that I will ever comprehend this side of eternity.  My friend's mantra has been, "Truth over lies."  Just because I feel like an idiot, doesn't mean that I am one.  No, the truth is far different and for that, I am very thankful.    

Mittens, AKA Black Widow, was in her usual morning spot, pawing at the window, just hoping to be noticed so someone would let her back in.  She prefers outside, except when it is too chilly for her liking.  Then, once the door is opened, it is either off to the food bowl or her favorite napping place.

But isn't that us also.  How many times are we on the outside, pawing, hoping someone will notice and let us in?  Let us into their group, their club, their conversation, their lives.  I think of the cruelness of junior high, letting someone in so that they may be the new humiliation target.  Of social media, being a part of the 1.2K followers...of people we falsely think make us a part of their inner group.  For those that lack the social skills to correctly read subtle cues and are thus left out or even shunned.  Those that want to be let in but for one reason or another are not.  

Obviously, I am not promoting joining just any group or allowing any and all to be a part of your close circle, Mom's advice still stands, "Choose your friends wisely for they will shape who you become."  But, I do encourage you today to be on the lookout for those that may be pawing at your window.  Lonely people who need a smile, a conversation, a simple acknowledgement that they even exist.    

Currently, I have two favorite thinking partners.  I have had several over the years, but for now, these two are who I need and assuming that I am who they need during this season of life.  As thinking partners, while I consider them friends, they are not to be my laugh it off with me friends, though sometimes we do just have to laugh at ourselves and each other.  No, my thinking partners challenge me, push me, hold me back, shove me forward, put up with my scowlly faces, let me cross my arms, and every so often even let me pout for a minute or two.  As partners, I hope they say I do the same for them. 

God has blessed us with the need and the gift of others.  Who are you pushing forward, holding back, helping them to see reality vs. raging momentary emotions?  Who is challenging you, offering different viewpoints, and pushing you?  May you be blessed with a thinking partner and be a partner who is thinking with others.