PTSD

Before I hit the POST button tonight, I am going to sigh.  Not as relief, but as a step that scares me.  Being vulnerable leaves one open to attack. I am sharing what feels like a weakness, a defect, a flaw, a hidden embarrassment.  But feeling doesn't equate with truth.  It took a friend reminding me over and over to put truth over lies, logic over emotion.  I am not PTSD, I am affected by PTSD.  

In simple terms, the harmful actions of another towards me has left my fight, flight, freeze system out of wack.  But you would never know it.  I have lived with it for so long that I am an expert at covering it up.  

That is why I share today.  As I reflect on this time, hopefully for just a season, of COVID 19, I can't help but think of the number of people that are being impacted in various ways. Death, separation, isolation, loss, uncertainty, and fear to name a few.  The health care workers that are physically and emotionally exhausted.  Family that can't physically be with those that are dying because of the nature of the virus.  Loved ones that can't cognitively understand why they can't stick to their routines.  The stress of losing a job, of schooling children, of being an essential worker, or a private business that may not recover.  The list is endless.  

I share today as a reminder to be kind. Kind with your words, kind with your actions, kind in your responses to the hurts of others.  Every path is different.  We don't follow a trail in life, we forge a path, each and every one of us.  For most, the path will hold all the normal bumps and bruises and they will move on.  For a few though, life will leave them deeply wounded.  It is not their fault, they can't just try harder, stop thinking about it, or take a chill pill.  No, this bump in life will leave them different.  Yes, life will go on, but it won't go on the same.  Be kind because you don't know who it is and most likely they will never tell you.