From my observation of people, we all have one.  I call mine, "Pandora's Box".  Original, I know, I know. You are really impressed.  But seriously, it is that box within us that hides what we don't want others to see.  We crack it open, maybe, with those we deeply trust.  All the while, hoping, praying, holding our breath as to their reaction.  Will they laugh, scoff, downplay, overshadow, or slam the lid back shut with the clear message never to open it their presence again?  Or will they listen, show compassion, empathize, simply listen?  If we open the box, will they even know what to do with us now?

I wonder this morning what is hiding in your box, who do you trust and who trusts you?  Our boxes are full of things like jealousy, pride, hurt, anger, fear and sadness.  Who can help you look into your box and who can you help open their box?  Trust and be trustworthy.  We need each other. 

TED Talks--love them!  Was listening to ​Linda Cliatt-Wayman (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe2nlti47kA) and her slogan of "So What...Now What..." has stuck with me.  

So what, now what.  Hummm.  How many times do I make excuses, really ligament excuses, as to why this or that can't be changed, helped, turned around, etc.?  Rhetorical question, but if someone were secretly counting I am sure to be well into the tens of thousands.  Everything from little daily decisions, like my scale says I am a bit too chunky these days but...I am now over 50....I will eat better tomorrow...I look just like my mom...I am sure it is the medicine.... To much more influential decisions like as to why not all children in my classroom were prepared for the next step...cause there are just too many to help... I am doing the best that I can... if they would just come knowing....  Embarrassed, but fully admit that I have said all of these things...and more.

So what...they are coming to me with these needs...Now what am I going to do about it?  Thankfully education is moving from I to we.  I can not meet the needs of 20+ children effectively, but as a team we can.  Together we can fill learning gaps, together we can meet social/emotional needs, together we can be there for each other.  So what...now what.  Together, we can and will.

Our oldest daughter is beginning to discover that there is a whole world outside of her world.  Her 20 years of life have taken her many places, some of which she is now studying with a new found curiosity .  

Waco is her latest investigation.  I had to smile as she is doing her best to look at the event from different view points. She is beginning to more fully grasp that leadership decisions can have serious consequences.  But what caught my attention the most was her statement as she talked to her older friend.  He was just a boy at the time and as she said, "I wasn't even a thought yet."

I remember Waco from my dining room floor as I finished college work and applied for jobs.  But as I think of today, Covid 19, hopefully, will be something my grandchildren only have to ask me about.  "Grandma, do you remember when...."  I can't help but wonder how decisions being made today, from world leaders to community officials to individual households will and already are affecting those that aren't even a thought yet.      

In 40 minutes I am to meet with a superintendent to talk about instructional coaching.  While no expert and certainly not ready to write the "how to" book, I do have something to offer, perspective.

What is it like to be a superintendent, an ER doctor, a factory worker, a firefighter, a city employee, confined to a wheel chair, unemployed, in a nursing home, deathly sick, being chased by terrorist?  I don't know.  There are millions upon millions of perspectives I don't know.  That is because the only perspective I have is mine. The experiences that shaped me may be similar to a thousand others, but it is still not the same experience.  My reaction to an event may have been mild and forgotten but to someone else, life altering.  

So, as we visit today, may we each take the stance of perspective and simply listen.  Listen to the stories that have shaped us.  Listen to the lessons that we have gleaned, to the highs and lows of life, to the mistakes and the got it rights.  Ask questions, dig a little deeper, be curious.   Simply listen to life from their perspective.  It doesn't mean that I have to agree, but simply that I listened and tried to understand life from their perspective.

Before I hit the POST button tonight, I am going to sigh.  Not as relief, but as a step that scares me.  Being vulnerable leaves one open to attack. I am sharing what feels like a weakness, a defect, a flaw, a hidden embarrassment.  But feeling doesn't equate with truth.  It took a friend reminding me over and over to put truth over lies, logic over emotion.  I am not PTSD, I am affected by PTSD.  

In simple terms, the harmful actions of another towards me has left my fight, flight, freeze system out of wack.  But you would never know it.  I have lived with it for so long that I am an expert at covering it up.  

That is why I share today.  As I reflect on this time, hopefully for just a season, of COVID 19, I can't help but think of the number of people that are being impacted in various ways. Death, separation, isolation, loss, uncertainty, and fear to name a few.  The health care workers that are physically and emotionally exhausted.  Family that can't physically be with those that are dying because of the nature of the virus.  Loved ones that can't cognitively understand why they can't stick to their routines.  The stress of losing a job, of schooling children, of being an essential worker, or a private business that may not recover.  The list is endless.  

I share today as a reminder to be kind. Kind with your words, kind with your actions, kind in your responses to the hurts of others.  Every path is different.  We don't follow a trail in life, we forge a path, each and every one of us.  For most, the path will hold all the normal bumps and bruises and they will move on.  For a few though, life will leave them deeply wounded.  It is not their fault, they can't just try harder, stop thinking about it, or take a chill pill.  No, this bump in life will leave them different.  Yes, life will go on, but it won't go on the same.  Be kind because you don't know who it is and most likely they will never tell you.